VB S7 WEEK 7: ILLUMINA-TEE
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It’s true… it’s all true! And here is THE PROOF! Feast your Eye of Providence on the shadowy super-truth of our latest Shirt Club offering! You don’t need the secret password to gain entry into this sexy secret gathering, you just need $20 (USD). Drape yourself in this dark charcoal heather tri-blend vestment and spook the bejeezus out of your conspiracy nut “friends” (the ones you unfriended last year), who will no doubt gladly explain to you the numerological significance of the 8 feathers on the owl’s tail—THE OWL! A KNOWN MASONIC SYMBOL! Or the 5 O’s found in the untranslatable banners, which are probably anagrams anyway. Count the bricks in the pyramid—DO YOU THINK THAT’S COINCIDENCE? Each shirt is carefully printed by blindfolded sex slaves (who are then summarily executed), using real liquid sterling silver from melted down 1794 silver dollars.*